If I had to drive past that every day I might want to hurt myself.  Or maybe others.

I really have to wonder who thought that is a motivational sign.

How far can you fall?

Neighborhoods

It's nice living in a decent neighborhood.  Just last night I witnessed a car collision where a young woman drove into the back of a large pickup.  I probably shouldn't say much more, but at least things seem to have worked out.

I do love my neighborhood though, because a bunch of people helped grab a broom and sweep up the plastic parts that were left in the intersection.  Even the Portland Police Officer seemed a little surprised.  (He seemed like a good guy, if anyone is wondering.)

At least nobody seemed to be hurt, and the kayaks looked like they could still float.

Trapped in the Bedroom

Sometimes the world likes to send a harsh message to people.  Sometimes it does it on a Friday night.  You probably know the feeling.  You want to grab a beer, maybe have a cigarette.  Of course the bathroom is calling.  But then, something gets in your way.

Maybe you turn your doorknob, and it pops off that metal post thingy, which falls out the other side.  At first you can stay calm.  Maybe an "oh shit" or three.  Maybe a "where the fuck is my cell phone?"

Then you realize that your phone is sitting on the living room table. The same table that your shoes are under.

There are options.

The windows are a little high off the ground, and I'm not sure that I'm not going to puncture my foot, and it had been raining for days.  What else can I do?

I then tried the multi-tool on my keychain.  It just can't quite get a grip, so what can be done?

I remember my wallet, and start trying to use a card from it to pop the latch.  I fortunately found an expired bonus card I broke in half instead of my debit card.

A few minutes later I found a wire coat hanger, and realized that if someone can perform an abortion with one of them, I better be able to open a door with one.  It took me a while, but eventually I found that perfect angle and rhythm to get my door open.

There are more useful things on the planet, but I'll make sure to keep a wire hanger with my towel.

Kayak

Link

If you're going to flip your kayak in the Willamette, apparently it's a good idea to make sure you're not going to drown.